Things you should avoid adding to your resume at all costs.
What actually happens in the office is really different from what’s in the job description. No job ad ever said “extensive brown-nosing experience is a must.” No department ever actually hired someone to make all that money from running the coffee pot and getting supplies. Other useful skills that you should keep out of the document include: getting the boss home when he’s incapacitated; ‘borrowing’ office supplies from other departments; fudging expense reports to get things done; beating the internal procurement system; and pushing expenses into someone else’s budget.